I'm so bored- man I hate being ill you can't do anything- grrfffmmmpff. I'm just hanging around and survive because of the widget games here at Myspace- isn't that sad?
I hope it will be better once I am healthy again, I can walk and start writing. I really miss it, it's so sad and disturbing for me. Since I went off to Kyoto in 2007 I couldn't do it anymore, sometimes I really, really badly miss the time before I went to Japan for the first time, although I didn't want to be how I was at that time anymore. Had been a really rough time for me- some of you know very well, but it changed me and in my opinion it is the best for me and maybe only due to the change I am able to get what I want in the future. I will see. But nevertheless it is hard and I really, really miss all the time before, the meeting with my old, lost friends, the writings, the talks, the meetings on weekends. Had been a wonderful time and I god damn miss it and wished it could be like that before- but I have done enough, although sometimes I wanted to grab pen and paper and write letter to all my friends of that time.
That's the problem with too much time, you start thinking and thinking again. I know I am not an easy person, I'm a handful one could say, so maybe it is better this way. You know I don't want to be annoying and clinging and well I have a little pride myself- I have done enough and it is time they put down the walls and thorns under which they are hiding before me. But on the other side I am thinking, what if they are afraid to do it now and waiting for a sign of me? My last sign had been over a year ago. Sometimes I wish to turn back time until that point,maybe it wouldn't happen again.
So the question remains, why life is so complicated when you grow up? It had been much easier as a child than now.
So my advise to all who are planning to go uproad, it could cost you the thing most dearest to you. The only thing that really mattered at that time were my friends and at the moment I had been sitting inside the plane to Dubai (then from Dubai to Osaka) I wanted to go back, to run out of the plane back to what I had loved most- my friends. But I hadn't had any choice left, so I cried inside the plane all the time as if I knew that they wouldn't kept their promise that they will still be there after the 5 months.
But in the end it took 2 awful months with mobbing, troubles, loneliness and psychologic illness in Kyoto to lose everything, well in a way only 6 weeks and some weeks silence before I truly lost them. So consider long what you are doing and always be aware that if you go, it could cost you your loved ones.
I don't know what I would do, sometimes I think I wouldn't go because then I wouldn't have lost them, but sometimes I think what happened let me grow so much I would do it again. Or maybe I am always doing the wrong things, or maybe they seem wrong but in the end, when the threads got loose I will understand why it had to happen that way and no other way, because without I wouldn't get what my heart and soul really, truly and most dearly wants.
Samstag, 16. Mai 2009
Mittwoch, 13. Mai 2009
Kyoto Trip
I'm back and here comes the report of Kyoto:
Day I, 6th of May, Wednesday:
As you can imagine we didn't get much sleep, around 2hours each of us, because we went to bed late as usual and had to get up at 7 in the morning. With my green suitcase- we didn't get all in the two small suitcase we have ^^, we drove to Tokyo station and got on board the Highwaybus to Kyoto. Soon it began to rain awfully, but there had been beautiful scenes outside the window once we left Tokyo and came to Kanagawa prefecture. Mist and clouds hanging in mountains in all shades of green, dark green pines and fresh light green trees mixed together- soooo beautiful. Unfortunately we couldn't make pictures out of the window. We slept at bit but most we talked ^^. After 8hours we arrived safe at Kyoto and I had been so happy. My Kyoto, back at home, everything was greeting me and had been soooo wonderful.
We found our hostel very quick, it had been at Shichijo (7th street) Kawaramachidori, very close to the station, around 10minutes on foot. A wonderful hostel, so 1st class compared to Sakura House and I could sleep again in a bed, I enjoyed it very much. It began to rain very strong all the time, but it couldn't kill our good mood, for us it felt even more like home, because in Hamburg the sky is almost every day wonderfully grey-blue colored. We went to the river and walked in the rain, enjoyed the feeling of nature and freedom.
In our room we started a funny foto shooting, I have uploaded the pics here at Myspace.
Day II 7th of May, Thursday:
My birthday- now I am old, I am 30 years old on paper, in my heart and look I am 25 ^^. My first birthday in rain as if the world cried for me *laugh*, but our hostel had free umbrellas for guests- so no problem. We started with sightseeing at Kiyomizudera, one of the most famous temples in Kyoto- I had been there 2x before, once alone in autumn leaves and then with Annette on my last weekend in Kyoto. We went to the famous love stones and I found the way between the stones without any help with eyes closed- so my wish will be granted soon. Afterwards I bought an omikuji- an oracle about the question and it said, the long awaited lover will come to you and you two will share a love bond forever, your love will be strong and tender.- in short, promsing great love. It fits totally to me what else had been written there.
pic
We walked there, bought a love charm and drank the holy water before we left. And I went to the merchandise, my mother wanted some tiny hello kitty charms and I bought my Toshiya teddy bear ( last years birthday present from Denise) a yukata. Had been very funny, we looked at the tiny yukata and the shop lady helped us and asked how old is the child- and I said- it is a teddy bear and she laughed and said, ok then SS size will be the best.
Toshiya bear and dolce
Although it rained we bought icecream on our way back to the bus station. Now we were going to Kyodai Mensa, the cafeteria of Kyoto university where I had eaten many times in my 5 months there, cheap and very delicous. The most wonderful ramen and curry rice ;).
Then walking through the area where I had lived 5 months in happiness and sadness, my Family mart, my Haus der Begegnung, my Lawson, Yoshida mountain and my personal Inari shrine, where I had gone so many times when I had been sad and needed council.
Inari shrine
It rained all the time but who cared, we both loved it so much.
Later we went for a walk to the river and drove to Metro Club, my Shop 99 (now called Lawson 100 store), where once my handsome shop assistant had worked ^^- I used to went there many times a week in the evening when he worked ;). I love it so much, my Kyoto, I can understand Kyo from Dir en grey why Kyoto is his most beloved city and he still has an apartment or house there.
And again we went to Kyodai mensa
me at Kyodai Mensa
Day III, 8th of May, Friday:
Sunny and hot.
At last we went to Osaka, MY Osaka, oh how much I love Osaka, every time I couldn't stand it anymore I went to American Mura at Shinsaibashi Osaka. There I went to many concerts and bought much CDs at my favorite store. I love Osaka and the people of Osaka. And believe it or not the men in Kansai are much more handsome than in Kantô ^^, yeah I knew that my memory hadn't faded about handsome men and now I understand why I have the bad feeling here in Tokyo and Inawashiro about my height, because in Kyoto or better in Kansai the people are bigger, the men, the women aren't so differently, but most of the men are bigger than me, you are meeting many foreigners and even the people have more on their ribs than here, guess one size more everyone.
First we went to Chrome Hearts, then to Puresound, which had moved some metres and is now a big 2F store and no longer a tiny 1F-4F store with awful narrow stairs. I prefered it the way it is now- you can look around much more easily- I bought 2 posters. That's the problem once you have almost everything it is hard to find what you are looking for- I am looking for Itanji single of D'espairs Ray, almost impossible to get.
My gloomy bear store has been closed :(, but I got one at Kyoto , which has just eaten Santa Claus ;).
We went to Naoto, BPN and other stores, sitting around and enjoying Osaka. It is my favorite big city in Japan- Kyoto is more like a small town for me, no big city. If I could chose I would live in Kyoto and went to Osaka for shopping, concerts etc. It is no big deal to go to Osaka from Kyoto. 30min by train and not so expensive. Had been funny to visit the old places, see the changes, go the old railroads and relive your memories. Going to Kansai is like going home- in a way it is more home than Hamburg, maybe because it had been my move out of home or maybe because it is just home. The first time I went to Osaka in my Kyoto time, sitting in the train on the way to Moi dix Mois concert, the moment we entered Osaka it was such an overwhelming feeling, like if the city embraced me and saying- there you are at last, welcome home darling.
I enjoyed it very much and Denise as well.
Old pic of Shinsaibashi
Day IV 9th of May, Saturday:
The day of D'espairs Ray, again very hot and sunny. D'espairs Ray had their concert in Kobe Varit, so we went to Kobe- my first time- I never went to Kobe before. I like it, reminds me of southern Germany, like Stuttgart, a city in a valley and the mountains, hot and bit sticky. Hadn't been a big deal to go to Sannomiya station, we had been there far to early, so we went around.
I like Kobe, city of theYakuza very much, the people are very friendly and they have a restaurant where you can eat real Pizza and even better Salami Pizza and it isn't expensive, I paid 750Yen for a big one. They had real Tiramisu as well, very delicious.
The concert had been great too. We had very good tickets, number 27 and 28. Of course it had been a tiny live house, so we hadn't been first row, but second. Very nice people, no big screaming or pushing, one of the most wonderful concerts ever. Funny thing we set off the fire alarm ^^, just because we all were fuming due to sweating and too much smoke from stage, the temperature went too high and in the middle of 'Hollow' the fire alarm break off and Hizumi stopped singing, asking if everything is ok. Had been very funny to look around and everyone in the first rows were smoking above his head. ^^
I had gotten a Zero Plek and a Karyu Plek, so I had been very successful *laugh*. I enjoyed it very much, no one knew me, so all had been very friendly- I even talked with some ladies and I had a man behind me, a rather handsome one, very pleasant thought during the concert when he pushed his hip against mine *grin*. Well I got a bruise on my forehead because the girl in front of me and me crashed together during headbanging ;)- no big deal, of course it hurt and for a moment I saw stars, but then it had been ok and you can cover it with make-up ;).
Kobe pic
Back in Kyoto we went to Sanjo, it's the amusement night space in Kyoto. Many Uruhas- we call them Uruha, because they have his hair-style and look all the same, and some wanted to go with us for...... *grin* but no, they didn't look like they stand longer than 5seconds ^^, not again, I want a real man ;).
Day V 10th of May, Sunday:
The second D'espairs Ray day, again hot and sunny. Today had been the concert in Kyoto. All the time when I had lived in Kyoto I wanted to go to a concert at Kyoto Muse, but it never happened, as it is a tiny space all the bands I liked to see were sold out like D or The Gazette. So it had been my first time.
As we went to bed late we slept long and went bit of shopping before the concert- I bought my Gloomy bear and then going to Kyoto Muse. Today our tickets had been better than Kobe # 19 and 20, but as the Kyoto Muse is even smaller than Kobe Varit it had been the same position as yesterday, second row. At this concert there had been more screaming girls- very annoying and our dear Neandertaler had been there- a lady which Annette and I had seen many times before and always in bad memory, she is very annoying and brutal, Tsukasa fangirlie. As she is very aggressive and ugly Annette called her Neandertaler, and that is her nickname for us now. She came in late and pushed her way through to Denise and wanted to force into 1st row but unsuccessfully, but she and her friend kept pushing so hard Denise went back after a while with a aching arm and many blue bruises, but for her it hadn't been so bad, she likes it better in the back for dancing- I prefer the front ;). In the back she met Fabian, a guy from Germany, who just returned from New Zealand Working Holiday and arrived over Singapur and Malaysia in Japan. A huge D'espairs Ray fan, plays music himself, likes Moi dix Mois and other and is very, very nice. I am so glad we met him and we talked of course lots about Working Holidays.
Back to the concert, I liked it, although Kobe had been better and more funny. But Karyu said something to us Gaijin guests ^^- I love you! Sweet! There had been some foreign people at the concert, well of course Kyoto is the most visited city in Japan and many, many foreigners are there and some of them knew D'espairs Ray.
After the concert we three went to Saizeriya for hours of talking, returning to our hostel- funny we all three lived at the same place, talking all the way, in front of the hostel, he lived in the main building, we in the annex until a staff guy asked us to come in, because the neighbours don't like the guests talking on the street at night, so we went in for more talking until 3a.m. then we went to bed ;).
Day VI 12th of May, Monday:
Our last day :(. We spent it with Fabian and going to Fushimi Inari Taisha Jinja- you know, the shrine with the many, many orange torii, it's very famous. First we wanted to go by train, but then we decided to go by bus- good idea but well we arrived at the station and the bus is only going every hour and we had to wait 45min, too much, so we decided to walk the way. It's not far away.
Had been hot and the sun were burning our head off, but I enjoyed it walking on the riverside and talking (what else......) Suddenly we arrived at the shrine, I never expected it ^^ but we did it.
It is as I remembered it and all in shadow- which had been wonderful for it had been really hot that day, so hot we didn't got until the top because we were tired to death due to heat. On our way back we wanted to buy some souvenirs, and it is true you should be careful where to buy, because the prices are different. Fabian bought in the middle of the line and I at the end and payed much less than him for the same pieces.
Fabian
On the way back we got the bus- lucky us- and went to a curry house and then to Honganji temple, Fabian wanted to see it, but it had been closed. A bit more of shopping, or more truly walking through the shopping area ^^ and then Denise and me went back to the hostel and then to the station to wait for the night bus. I cried on our bench because we had to leave- horrible and the way back hadn't been pleasant, Denise had been ill and in the end she vomitted and stayed the day at home. Today she is better and went to work, but not fully healthy.
Yes had been a wonderful time, a time in which I realised why I wanted to return to Japan so badly. Tokyo is boring, cold and ugly, you can't do anything else than shopping and concerts, the people aren't friendly and most men ugly and small. Again I cried yesterday morning, I had been homesick, in a way I wanted to go back to Germany, but more back to Kyoto. Kyoto is alive and spiritually, you can feel the heartbeat, the soul, Tokyo is dead, the space for the brain deads. I knew there are parts which aren't brain death, but you can't live there and it is hard to enter that scene of living.
Kansai is alive, the people are open minded, warm and they laugh, they talk to each other. Soul, heart and body are alive in Kansai.
Denise and I decided to spend our last weeks after she quit work in Kansai, Kyoto or Osaka. Once I got my heritage paid we will book some space for 3 weeks in September there.
All pics here- have a look please!
Day I, 6th of May, Wednesday:
As you can imagine we didn't get much sleep, around 2hours each of us, because we went to bed late as usual and had to get up at 7 in the morning. With my green suitcase- we didn't get all in the two small suitcase we have ^^, we drove to Tokyo station and got on board the Highwaybus to Kyoto. Soon it began to rain awfully, but there had been beautiful scenes outside the window once we left Tokyo and came to Kanagawa prefecture. Mist and clouds hanging in mountains in all shades of green, dark green pines and fresh light green trees mixed together- soooo beautiful. Unfortunately we couldn't make pictures out of the window. We slept at bit but most we talked ^^. After 8hours we arrived safe at Kyoto and I had been so happy. My Kyoto, back at home, everything was greeting me and had been soooo wonderful.
We found our hostel very quick, it had been at Shichijo (7th street) Kawaramachidori, very close to the station, around 10minutes on foot. A wonderful hostel, so 1st class compared to Sakura House and I could sleep again in a bed, I enjoyed it very much. It began to rain very strong all the time, but it couldn't kill our good mood, for us it felt even more like home, because in Hamburg the sky is almost every day wonderfully grey-blue colored. We went to the river and walked in the rain, enjoyed the feeling of nature and freedom.
In our room we started a funny foto shooting, I have uploaded the pics here at Myspace.
Day II 7th of May, Thursday:
My birthday- now I am old, I am 30 years old on paper, in my heart and look I am 25 ^^. My first birthday in rain as if the world cried for me *laugh*, but our hostel had free umbrellas for guests- so no problem. We started with sightseeing at Kiyomizudera, one of the most famous temples in Kyoto- I had been there 2x before, once alone in autumn leaves and then with Annette on my last weekend in Kyoto. We went to the famous love stones and I found the way between the stones without any help with eyes closed- so my wish will be granted soon. Afterwards I bought an omikuji- an oracle about the question and it said, the long awaited lover will come to you and you two will share a love bond forever, your love will be strong and tender.- in short, promsing great love. It fits totally to me what else had been written there.
pic
We walked there, bought a love charm and drank the holy water before we left. And I went to the merchandise, my mother wanted some tiny hello kitty charms and I bought my Toshiya teddy bear ( last years birthday present from Denise) a yukata. Had been very funny, we looked at the tiny yukata and the shop lady helped us and asked how old is the child- and I said- it is a teddy bear and she laughed and said, ok then SS size will be the best.
Toshiya bear and dolce
Although it rained we bought icecream on our way back to the bus station. Now we were going to Kyodai Mensa, the cafeteria of Kyoto university where I had eaten many times in my 5 months there, cheap and very delicous. The most wonderful ramen and curry rice ;).
Then walking through the area where I had lived 5 months in happiness and sadness, my Family mart, my Haus der Begegnung, my Lawson, Yoshida mountain and my personal Inari shrine, where I had gone so many times when I had been sad and needed council.
Inari shrine
It rained all the time but who cared, we both loved it so much.
Later we went for a walk to the river and drove to Metro Club, my Shop 99 (now called Lawson 100 store), where once my handsome shop assistant had worked ^^- I used to went there many times a week in the evening when he worked ;). I love it so much, my Kyoto, I can understand Kyo from Dir en grey why Kyoto is his most beloved city and he still has an apartment or house there.
And again we went to Kyodai mensa
me at Kyodai Mensa
Day III, 8th of May, Friday:
Sunny and hot.
At last we went to Osaka, MY Osaka, oh how much I love Osaka, every time I couldn't stand it anymore I went to American Mura at Shinsaibashi Osaka. There I went to many concerts and bought much CDs at my favorite store. I love Osaka and the people of Osaka. And believe it or not the men in Kansai are much more handsome than in Kantô ^^, yeah I knew that my memory hadn't faded about handsome men and now I understand why I have the bad feeling here in Tokyo and Inawashiro about my height, because in Kyoto or better in Kansai the people are bigger, the men, the women aren't so differently, but most of the men are bigger than me, you are meeting many foreigners and even the people have more on their ribs than here, guess one size more everyone.
First we went to Chrome Hearts, then to Puresound, which had moved some metres and is now a big 2F store and no longer a tiny 1F-4F store with awful narrow stairs. I prefered it the way it is now- you can look around much more easily- I bought 2 posters. That's the problem once you have almost everything it is hard to find what you are looking for- I am looking for Itanji single of D'espairs Ray, almost impossible to get.
My gloomy bear store has been closed :(, but I got one at Kyoto , which has just eaten Santa Claus ;).
We went to Naoto, BPN and other stores, sitting around and enjoying Osaka. It is my favorite big city in Japan- Kyoto is more like a small town for me, no big city. If I could chose I would live in Kyoto and went to Osaka for shopping, concerts etc. It is no big deal to go to Osaka from Kyoto. 30min by train and not so expensive. Had been funny to visit the old places, see the changes, go the old railroads and relive your memories. Going to Kansai is like going home- in a way it is more home than Hamburg, maybe because it had been my move out of home or maybe because it is just home. The first time I went to Osaka in my Kyoto time, sitting in the train on the way to Moi dix Mois concert, the moment we entered Osaka it was such an overwhelming feeling, like if the city embraced me and saying- there you are at last, welcome home darling.
I enjoyed it very much and Denise as well.
Old pic of Shinsaibashi
Day IV 9th of May, Saturday:
The day of D'espairs Ray, again very hot and sunny. D'espairs Ray had their concert in Kobe Varit, so we went to Kobe- my first time- I never went to Kobe before. I like it, reminds me of southern Germany, like Stuttgart, a city in a valley and the mountains, hot and bit sticky. Hadn't been a big deal to go to Sannomiya station, we had been there far to early, so we went around.
I like Kobe, city of theYakuza very much, the people are very friendly and they have a restaurant where you can eat real Pizza and even better Salami Pizza and it isn't expensive, I paid 750Yen for a big one. They had real Tiramisu as well, very delicious.
The concert had been great too. We had very good tickets, number 27 and 28. Of course it had been a tiny live house, so we hadn't been first row, but second. Very nice people, no big screaming or pushing, one of the most wonderful concerts ever. Funny thing we set off the fire alarm ^^, just because we all were fuming due to sweating and too much smoke from stage, the temperature went too high and in the middle of 'Hollow' the fire alarm break off and Hizumi stopped singing, asking if everything is ok. Had been very funny to look around and everyone in the first rows were smoking above his head. ^^
I had gotten a Zero Plek and a Karyu Plek, so I had been very successful *laugh*. I enjoyed it very much, no one knew me, so all had been very friendly- I even talked with some ladies and I had a man behind me, a rather handsome one, very pleasant thought during the concert when he pushed his hip against mine *grin*. Well I got a bruise on my forehead because the girl in front of me and me crashed together during headbanging ;)- no big deal, of course it hurt and for a moment I saw stars, but then it had been ok and you can cover it with make-up ;).
Kobe pic
Back in Kyoto we went to Sanjo, it's the amusement night space in Kyoto. Many Uruhas- we call them Uruha, because they have his hair-style and look all the same, and some wanted to go with us for...... *grin* but no, they didn't look like they stand longer than 5seconds ^^, not again, I want a real man ;).
Day V 10th of May, Sunday:
The second D'espairs Ray day, again hot and sunny. Today had been the concert in Kyoto. All the time when I had lived in Kyoto I wanted to go to a concert at Kyoto Muse, but it never happened, as it is a tiny space all the bands I liked to see were sold out like D or The Gazette. So it had been my first time.
As we went to bed late we slept long and went bit of shopping before the concert- I bought my Gloomy bear and then going to Kyoto Muse. Today our tickets had been better than Kobe # 19 and 20, but as the Kyoto Muse is even smaller than Kobe Varit it had been the same position as yesterday, second row. At this concert there had been more screaming girls- very annoying and our dear Neandertaler had been there- a lady which Annette and I had seen many times before and always in bad memory, she is very annoying and brutal, Tsukasa fangirlie. As she is very aggressive and ugly Annette called her Neandertaler, and that is her nickname for us now. She came in late and pushed her way through to Denise and wanted to force into 1st row but unsuccessfully, but she and her friend kept pushing so hard Denise went back after a while with a aching arm and many blue bruises, but for her it hadn't been so bad, she likes it better in the back for dancing- I prefer the front ;). In the back she met Fabian, a guy from Germany, who just returned from New Zealand Working Holiday and arrived over Singapur and Malaysia in Japan. A huge D'espairs Ray fan, plays music himself, likes Moi dix Mois and other and is very, very nice. I am so glad we met him and we talked of course lots about Working Holidays.
Back to the concert, I liked it, although Kobe had been better and more funny. But Karyu said something to us Gaijin guests ^^- I love you! Sweet! There had been some foreign people at the concert, well of course Kyoto is the most visited city in Japan and many, many foreigners are there and some of them knew D'espairs Ray.
After the concert we three went to Saizeriya for hours of talking, returning to our hostel- funny we all three lived at the same place, talking all the way, in front of the hostel, he lived in the main building, we in the annex until a staff guy asked us to come in, because the neighbours don't like the guests talking on the street at night, so we went in for more talking until 3a.m. then we went to bed ;).
Day VI 12th of May, Monday:
Our last day :(. We spent it with Fabian and going to Fushimi Inari Taisha Jinja- you know, the shrine with the many, many orange torii, it's very famous. First we wanted to go by train, but then we decided to go by bus- good idea but well we arrived at the station and the bus is only going every hour and we had to wait 45min, too much, so we decided to walk the way. It's not far away.
Had been hot and the sun were burning our head off, but I enjoyed it walking on the riverside and talking (what else......) Suddenly we arrived at the shrine, I never expected it ^^ but we did it.
It is as I remembered it and all in shadow- which had been wonderful for it had been really hot that day, so hot we didn't got until the top because we were tired to death due to heat. On our way back we wanted to buy some souvenirs, and it is true you should be careful where to buy, because the prices are different. Fabian bought in the middle of the line and I at the end and payed much less than him for the same pieces.
Fabian
On the way back we got the bus- lucky us- and went to a curry house and then to Honganji temple, Fabian wanted to see it, but it had been closed. A bit more of shopping, or more truly walking through the shopping area ^^ and then Denise and me went back to the hostel and then to the station to wait for the night bus. I cried on our bench because we had to leave- horrible and the way back hadn't been pleasant, Denise had been ill and in the end she vomitted and stayed the day at home. Today she is better and went to work, but not fully healthy.
Yes had been a wonderful time, a time in which I realised why I wanted to return to Japan so badly. Tokyo is boring, cold and ugly, you can't do anything else than shopping and concerts, the people aren't friendly and most men ugly and small. Again I cried yesterday morning, I had been homesick, in a way I wanted to go back to Germany, but more back to Kyoto. Kyoto is alive and spiritually, you can feel the heartbeat, the soul, Tokyo is dead, the space for the brain deads. I knew there are parts which aren't brain death, but you can't live there and it is hard to enter that scene of living.
Kansai is alive, the people are open minded, warm and they laugh, they talk to each other. Soul, heart and body are alive in Kansai.
Denise and I decided to spend our last weeks after she quit work in Kansai, Kyoto or Osaka. Once I got my heritage paid we will book some space for 3 weeks in September there.
All pics here- have a look please!
Donnerstag, 16. April 2009
and an easy one
After all the long talk of my last blog a more funny one about men and music ^^.
Yesterday Denise and me went once again to Tsutaya and Family Mart like last week where we met Takahiro. Well believe it or not, I were standing at the counter paying for my ice tea when two young men are entering Family Mart, seeing me,scanning me, saying -uhh- SUGOI. (Guess you all knew what sugoi is meaning)- I were smiling, yeah guys, I know what you are thinking is sugoi on me ^^- well they passed me, I looked back, they were looking back, especially one of them, all the time looking back to the cashier. Hurrying to the drinks and back to the cashier, where he talked to me-saying my tattoo is cute ^^ and well they wanted to go for a drink- AGAIN, almost the same place and time on wednesday night- well truly thursday night. ^^
Then they were standing in front of me- whispering to each other- really sugoi... *laughing*
Well I said no, I were tired after yesterday, but maybe we will meet them again, they asked if we live around here, so maybe they keep watching for us. One of them, the guy, who looked back, looks like a metal guy- like Denise predicted metal guys will love me ^^, I'm their type- well I didn't realized what they wanted from me during the festivals ^^- poor guys. Well she couldn't wait to tell me- see you, I told you! ^^ He had long blond curled hair and a small beard, tall and with more on the rips- a bigger version of Kyo ^^. The other one more normal type with black hair. And they are older, like my age, so the chance is there, that they are better in bed ;). -> our theory ;)
And at last a music recommendation, the Korean Linkin Park like Denise called them, unfortunately not any more- all the same, a band started with good music, but the Asians didn't like it so they change to Pop.
The Trax- produced by Yoshiki from X-Japan. I love them for some years, I just thought about them today, thinking I could tell you about them.
1st Song Tear, yes and it is the X-Japan Song.
Liez
Over the Rainbow- my first song of them
and my favourite video of them:
Paradox
Enjoy!
Yesterday Denise and me went once again to Tsutaya and Family Mart like last week where we met Takahiro. Well believe it or not, I were standing at the counter paying for my ice tea when two young men are entering Family Mart, seeing me,scanning me, saying -uhh- SUGOI. (Guess you all knew what sugoi is meaning)- I were smiling, yeah guys, I know what you are thinking is sugoi on me ^^- well they passed me, I looked back, they were looking back, especially one of them, all the time looking back to the cashier. Hurrying to the drinks and back to the cashier, where he talked to me-saying my tattoo is cute ^^ and well they wanted to go for a drink- AGAIN, almost the same place and time on wednesday night- well truly thursday night. ^^
Then they were standing in front of me- whispering to each other- really sugoi... *laughing*
Well I said no, I were tired after yesterday, but maybe we will meet them again, they asked if we live around here, so maybe they keep watching for us. One of them, the guy, who looked back, looks like a metal guy- like Denise predicted metal guys will love me ^^, I'm their type- well I didn't realized what they wanted from me during the festivals ^^- poor guys. Well she couldn't wait to tell me- see you, I told you! ^^ He had long blond curled hair and a small beard, tall and with more on the rips- a bigger version of Kyo ^^. The other one more normal type with black hair. And they are older, like my age, so the chance is there, that they are better in bed ;). -> our theory ;)
And at last a music recommendation, the Korean Linkin Park like Denise called them, unfortunately not any more- all the same, a band started with good music, but the Asians didn't like it so they change to Pop.
The Trax- produced by Yoshiki from X-Japan. I love them for some years, I just thought about them today, thinking I could tell you about them.
1st Song Tear, yes and it is the X-Japan Song.
Liez
Over the Rainbow- my first song of them
and my favourite video of them:
Paradox
Enjoy!
Japan
Time for another entry, I don't know how it will be in the end, but I am in high mood of writing.
Soon it will be 8 months for me in Japan, it is in a way hard to believe, very strange that it is such a long time I am far away from home. Guess not all Working Holiday makers make the same experiences as we do. When I am thinking about the time before I went to Japan in 2007 it is hard to believe what had been common thinking in the scene, where I had most of friends and of course the same thoughts like them about Japan like heaven on earth.
Japan is of course an interesting country, but I must say if there weren't the concerts, the fashion, the artist scene and one special person I wouldn't want to stay for long. It is difficult,especially now where I have lots of time for thinking and realizing about what I see and feel in Japan and with the Japanese. But the part including the artists is so important for me that I can stand the other things.
Mainly I would say Japan is a country of feudalism and status symbols, your status it seems is the most important thing for Japanese- at this point all what I am writing is what I have expierenced and from talks with other people here. All are running for status symbols to become more special than the neighbours, people are carrying a Louis Vuitton bag but wearing old and ragged clothes, they aren't walking in rags of course, but for the usual Japanese look of the clothes they are ragged.
The people here avoid seeing things that can worry them, sometimes it seems like they are thinking they aren't part of this world, so they didn't have to care for everything that happened outside Japan. People are ashamed if they didn't have a university degree, they are worthless. In a way it seems like life in Japan is like being part of a manga or an anime, a fake created world.
On one side the people here are intelligent, well I guess they are due to the results in science or other stuff, but on the other side they are the most stupids I have ever seen in my life. They can't do anything for themselves so it seems, they alway need someone who shows them what to do- this is starting with concerts and ending in the science world. Due to TTK and my friend Alexandra, who worked at a laboratory in Kyoto, I have a glimpse in science companies life in Japan- well they know so much facts and all, but they can't find it out by themselves what to do, they aren't working as a team and need all the advise from Europe or America (mainly these continents) before they can work anything and then they got half of the stuff delivered from Germany for example and only fixing it here.
The children are forced to forget childhood because they have to go to exams for school, afternoon schools because their parents wanted them to go to an elite school and they need more knowledge for it, so they go to school every day until the late evening and even learning in holidays. I have seen some report about children, who had won some contests and where on screen, it is so sad, for example you can see a 13 year old girl, looking older than I am, shy with no social live sitting in her cramped room at her parents house, surrounded by books and computers for studying, then the camera is switching towards her and you see an empty glance out of tired eyes. Then the parents, so proud of themselves it is disgusting, smiling and waving into the camera, reciting her daughters marks and all and forgetting that what they have is a living being and no new invention they show.
Of course not all people here are like that, but many and the worst is that the society is showing those unnatural children in TV and other so all are thinking this is what my child should be too.
Then after school they became children through the study years and after it they became grey in grey salary men and housewives who are doing exactly the same thing to their children.
Yes it is really difficult to understand from our point of view, from the view of a society which is worshipping the individual being, why they are acting like this? What is so wonderful to melt with the flood?
During my seminary in Stuttgart before we all four went to Kyoto, they have told us that there can be problems for a being of a individual society to go to a country of a crowd society. In my Kyoto time I didn't recognize so much- well maybe because I was going my own way all the time and I didn't met so many people, only some students and my teachers, who are most people like me, living in Japan, but not going with the flood but against the stream.
Long time I had been thinking that I am not a very individual person, but either I changed so much or I hadn't realized it before.
At my point of view I would say the Japanese are looking for something special, but instead of seeking for it in themselves, they are looking to idols and aping them. Sometimes I have the feeling that the Japanese are very sad like they are wanting to be different but didn't have the bravery or strength to do it. It reminds me of my German teaching back in secondary school, the time when we had done the image interpretation with caricatures. If I could draw it, it would be a pictures of a person, who is reaching out of chains to which it has the key around their neck but didn't realizing it.
I have met many people here, who are say they are individual, but if you look closer they aren't, they are only pretending to be it. If you ask them questions, just simple questions or talking with them about whatever you can see it within some minutes. They are all so shocked about us, about how we are talking and behaving, but I wouldn't say we are behaving so much different from anyone else in Germany.
During my Kyoto time I learned a lot from my teacher Martin Repp, a wonderful teacher, he has told us so many things and now in my Working holiday time I can see and understand what he mentioned to us at Kyoto.
It really is no wonder that so many people are committing suicide here, the pressure is to high and they all alone, even in marriage you are alone. Don't know why, maybe it is the all known problem of conflict avoidance which all Japanese seems to have. Sometimes I think what is so natural for us, to stand there and say something about what we don't like, what we want, is a very tough thing for a Japanese, to admit problems, to show that you are human and talk about it.
After I have seen 'Valkyrie' on Sunday with Takahiro and Denise I were thinking a lot about Germany and Japan. Long ago, in the time of the Third Empire of Hitler, both countries seemed so close in thinking, in that time individuality had been a death sin and racism common in Germany too. Maybe we had to have Adolf Hitler to become ourselves and one of the open minded, socialistic and tolerant countries in the world. It is daring thought but imagine but would have happened to us if we were still thinking like in that time?
Or maybe you can say we have learnt through Adolf Hitler and the nighmare and hell he created and Japan not? For if you are looking at Yasukuni shrine and it's museum you were thinking you are in a very bad nightmare-especially as a German. I never get why they are still thinking about Hitlers war as of a harmless territorial aggrandizement policy ( Vergrößerungspolitik) and of the massacres in Korea and China as incidents in war. (Zwischenfall) This museum had make me feel ill- I got sick of all the pictures, the uniforms of people,who died long time ago as ar criminal and are now worshipped- I looked at the pictures of the young men, who died thinking about who they used to be? Did they really wanted to go or did the government forced them to go to their death? Did some of them think about the people they have killed in war, the women they raped, the women of whom they have taken father, brother or lover or is that European thinking too?
Did anyone in Japan at that time thinking critical about what they are doing or not? Did they have an underground movement like we had in Germany?
After the movie I tried to talk a little with Takahiro about it, he said he knew something about Hitler from school but in the same way he were asking me if I were thinking that what this movie or other movies had shown had been really happened. I were staring at him, saying yes.
Yes I think 'Valkyrie' is a wonderful movie, you should see it after it is released on DVD, one of the movies where Tom Cruise is showing that he really is a good actor. I were once again amazed by his performance like with 'Last Samurai' or 'Interview with a vampire'. The German title is 'Operation Walküre-Das Stauffenberg Attentat'.
At this point I understand why it is so important not to forget what happend in that time, but on the same hand not to feel ashamed anymore to be a German. My mother is born in 1940, my aunt had been born in 1928, my grandfather in 1893- I am very lucky to talk to people with first hand experiences- of course I have never met my grandfather, he died some years before I were born.
It is a shame that Japan didn't teach those things in school- I can truly understand Koreas anger about it and the fight for the right show of Japans history, to say yes we have done criminal incidents, we had raped hundreds or thousands of Korean women, had done all the massacres.
They have lies in their school books about their history. Especially from the German view it is a crime. We are all the time forced by the world to not forget everything, even during World Cup in 2006 there had been the troubles due to the German flags in windows and cars.
*laugh* Yes, in a way when you are uproad you began to appreciate Germany ^^. Germany truly is a wonderful country in many ways.
Well of course Japan is wonderful too, it is strange why I want to be here, yes love can be strong ;). And it isn't so bad all the time,of course sometimes I could scream *laugh* and tear my hair because of Japanese thinking. ^^ And concerts and the fashion are great ;) and I still love Japan- especially Kansai.
Ok, I better stop now, guess I will write lots more about Japan the coming days/ weeks.
Soon it will be 8 months for me in Japan, it is in a way hard to believe, very strange that it is such a long time I am far away from home. Guess not all Working Holiday makers make the same experiences as we do. When I am thinking about the time before I went to Japan in 2007 it is hard to believe what had been common thinking in the scene, where I had most of friends and of course the same thoughts like them about Japan like heaven on earth.
Japan is of course an interesting country, but I must say if there weren't the concerts, the fashion, the artist scene and one special person I wouldn't want to stay for long. It is difficult,especially now where I have lots of time for thinking and realizing about what I see and feel in Japan and with the Japanese. But the part including the artists is so important for me that I can stand the other things.
Mainly I would say Japan is a country of feudalism and status symbols, your status it seems is the most important thing for Japanese- at this point all what I am writing is what I have expierenced and from talks with other people here. All are running for status symbols to become more special than the neighbours, people are carrying a Louis Vuitton bag but wearing old and ragged clothes, they aren't walking in rags of course, but for the usual Japanese look of the clothes they are ragged.
The people here avoid seeing things that can worry them, sometimes it seems like they are thinking they aren't part of this world, so they didn't have to care for everything that happened outside Japan. People are ashamed if they didn't have a university degree, they are worthless. In a way it seems like life in Japan is like being part of a manga or an anime, a fake created world.
On one side the people here are intelligent, well I guess they are due to the results in science or other stuff, but on the other side they are the most stupids I have ever seen in my life. They can't do anything for themselves so it seems, they alway need someone who shows them what to do- this is starting with concerts and ending in the science world. Due to TTK and my friend Alexandra, who worked at a laboratory in Kyoto, I have a glimpse in science companies life in Japan- well they know so much facts and all, but they can't find it out by themselves what to do, they aren't working as a team and need all the advise from Europe or America (mainly these continents) before they can work anything and then they got half of the stuff delivered from Germany for example and only fixing it here.
The children are forced to forget childhood because they have to go to exams for school, afternoon schools because their parents wanted them to go to an elite school and they need more knowledge for it, so they go to school every day until the late evening and even learning in holidays. I have seen some report about children, who had won some contests and where on screen, it is so sad, for example you can see a 13 year old girl, looking older than I am, shy with no social live sitting in her cramped room at her parents house, surrounded by books and computers for studying, then the camera is switching towards her and you see an empty glance out of tired eyes. Then the parents, so proud of themselves it is disgusting, smiling and waving into the camera, reciting her daughters marks and all and forgetting that what they have is a living being and no new invention they show.
Of course not all people here are like that, but many and the worst is that the society is showing those unnatural children in TV and other so all are thinking this is what my child should be too.
Then after school they became children through the study years and after it they became grey in grey salary men and housewives who are doing exactly the same thing to their children.
Yes it is really difficult to understand from our point of view, from the view of a society which is worshipping the individual being, why they are acting like this? What is so wonderful to melt with the flood?
During my seminary in Stuttgart before we all four went to Kyoto, they have told us that there can be problems for a being of a individual society to go to a country of a crowd society. In my Kyoto time I didn't recognize so much- well maybe because I was going my own way all the time and I didn't met so many people, only some students and my teachers, who are most people like me, living in Japan, but not going with the flood but against the stream.
Long time I had been thinking that I am not a very individual person, but either I changed so much or I hadn't realized it before.
At my point of view I would say the Japanese are looking for something special, but instead of seeking for it in themselves, they are looking to idols and aping them. Sometimes I have the feeling that the Japanese are very sad like they are wanting to be different but didn't have the bravery or strength to do it. It reminds me of my German teaching back in secondary school, the time when we had done the image interpretation with caricatures. If I could draw it, it would be a pictures of a person, who is reaching out of chains to which it has the key around their neck but didn't realizing it.
I have met many people here, who are say they are individual, but if you look closer they aren't, they are only pretending to be it. If you ask them questions, just simple questions or talking with them about whatever you can see it within some minutes. They are all so shocked about us, about how we are talking and behaving, but I wouldn't say we are behaving so much different from anyone else in Germany.
During my Kyoto time I learned a lot from my teacher Martin Repp, a wonderful teacher, he has told us so many things and now in my Working holiday time I can see and understand what he mentioned to us at Kyoto.
It really is no wonder that so many people are committing suicide here, the pressure is to high and they all alone, even in marriage you are alone. Don't know why, maybe it is the all known problem of conflict avoidance which all Japanese seems to have. Sometimes I think what is so natural for us, to stand there and say something about what we don't like, what we want, is a very tough thing for a Japanese, to admit problems, to show that you are human and talk about it.
After I have seen 'Valkyrie' on Sunday with Takahiro and Denise I were thinking a lot about Germany and Japan. Long ago, in the time of the Third Empire of Hitler, both countries seemed so close in thinking, in that time individuality had been a death sin and racism common in Germany too. Maybe we had to have Adolf Hitler to become ourselves and one of the open minded, socialistic and tolerant countries in the world. It is daring thought but imagine but would have happened to us if we were still thinking like in that time?
Or maybe you can say we have learnt through Adolf Hitler and the nighmare and hell he created and Japan not? For if you are looking at Yasukuni shrine and it's museum you were thinking you are in a very bad nightmare-especially as a German. I never get why they are still thinking about Hitlers war as of a harmless territorial aggrandizement policy ( Vergrößerungspolitik) and of the massacres in Korea and China as incidents in war. (Zwischenfall) This museum had make me feel ill- I got sick of all the pictures, the uniforms of people,who died long time ago as ar criminal and are now worshipped- I looked at the pictures of the young men, who died thinking about who they used to be? Did they really wanted to go or did the government forced them to go to their death? Did some of them think about the people they have killed in war, the women they raped, the women of whom they have taken father, brother or lover or is that European thinking too?
Did anyone in Japan at that time thinking critical about what they are doing or not? Did they have an underground movement like we had in Germany?
After the movie I tried to talk a little with Takahiro about it, he said he knew something about Hitler from school but in the same way he were asking me if I were thinking that what this movie or other movies had shown had been really happened. I were staring at him, saying yes.
Yes I think 'Valkyrie' is a wonderful movie, you should see it after it is released on DVD, one of the movies where Tom Cruise is showing that he really is a good actor. I were once again amazed by his performance like with 'Last Samurai' or 'Interview with a vampire'. The German title is 'Operation Walküre-Das Stauffenberg Attentat'.
At this point I understand why it is so important not to forget what happend in that time, but on the same hand not to feel ashamed anymore to be a German. My mother is born in 1940, my aunt had been born in 1928, my grandfather in 1893- I am very lucky to talk to people with first hand experiences- of course I have never met my grandfather, he died some years before I were born.
It is a shame that Japan didn't teach those things in school- I can truly understand Koreas anger about it and the fight for the right show of Japans history, to say yes we have done criminal incidents, we had raped hundreds or thousands of Korean women, had done all the massacres.
They have lies in their school books about their history. Especially from the German view it is a crime. We are all the time forced by the world to not forget everything, even during World Cup in 2006 there had been the troubles due to the German flags in windows and cars.
*laugh* Yes, in a way when you are uproad you began to appreciate Germany ^^. Germany truly is a wonderful country in many ways.
Well of course Japan is wonderful too, it is strange why I want to be here, yes love can be strong ;). And it isn't so bad all the time,of course sometimes I could scream *laugh* and tear my hair because of Japanese thinking. ^^ And concerts and the fashion are great ;) and I still love Japan- especially Kansai.
Ok, I better stop now, guess I will write lots more about Japan the coming days/ weeks.
Dir en grey miracle ^^ and Japanese superficial society
Hey you, today we got most of our Dir en grey tickets, tomorrow the last ones for 23rd of April will arrive, we both are looking forward to the concerts.
5x Dir en grey and 5x D'espairs Ray (for Denise 3x) and we have very good numbers for D'espairs Ray as always, well most Dir en grey concerts we didn't have good numbers (but every time got good places on the stairs- so we can see very well), always with Dir en grey- guess it depends on how long you are a member to get the good numbers there, but finally it started, for the 22nd of April I have numbers 50 and 51 for us (I'm now a a knot member for more than one and half year), it's Zepp Tokyo- so it should be 2nd row, maybe 1st if all the guys before us wanted to stand in front of Kyo- we will see. Isn't it wonderful?
Well it will be hot and a harder time than usual, but at last we are in the front of Kaoru and Toshiya *laugh* maybe Kaoru will be happy, he is in no need to try to throw his picks across the whole hall (he is always trying to throw some of them in our directions and always not reaching us and throwing his arms in desperation ^^- very funny.) Guess he is happy to have some foreigner there, who came definitely for the music, dancing to the music and not screaming everybody's names ;) like most of the Japanese. Must be annoying after a while, especially for a guy like Kaoru who said- people got interested in us more than music, we were becoming idols- which isn't right- something like that. It is in the Kerrang from January.
Although most of the Dir en grey fans aren't as bad as the fans of D'espairs Ray, they are screaming, but they seemed to like the music too, so it is always a pleasure to got to Dir en grey in that way. Of course there are still some Miss Piggy Screamy Girlies, but most of the ladies are more punk and usually nice. All my good experiences with other fans had been with Dir en grey fans, they helped me with the wardrobe, after I lost my scarf returned it to me, spoken to me and all. Much nicer than D'espairs Ray and Moi dix Mois fan girlies. Especially the Dir en grey fans of Kyoto and Osaka are VERY friendly guys and much less screaming there. Maybe it is because Dir en grey has started in that area, I don't know, but could be the point and in Kansai there had been no Miss Piggy Screamy Girls at all.
I call them Miss Piggy because they have fake blond curls like Miss Piggy, wearing usually pink, ribboned, ruffled Lolita stuff or flower grandma stuff with pearl necklaces, matching pink heels with big ribbons or over black overknee prostitute style boots (Nuttenstiefel) with pink ribbons, matching glittery and ribboned handbags and make up, many of them had a nose plastic we call 'Piggy Nose' (Schweinchennase) because it looks very much like a pigs snout- it's very popular here, they think it is cute. They have ugly 5cm long, 2cm thick nail glitter scultpures as fake nails are always screaming like they are about to die, every quiet second they are calling some members name and hopping like soft plush dolls you are shaking in your hands during the concert. They are really annoying.
That's one part of people going to the concerts of Japanese bands, a big part unfortunately. With Mana they are usually wearing his fashion and screaming Mana-sama every minute, there are only some Miss Piggys, more traditional Gothic Lolitas. Sometimes I think with Moi dix Mois many girls are coming because of his fashion only-I will never understand why Japanese people are going to someone's live because he his involved to fashion, like the two models of H.Naotos Six and other models of his fashion. They used to be models, than getting a guitar and a microphone and everyone is running towards their concerts because they are the models of H.Naoto.
I will never understand what is so special of wearing someones clothes for advertisements or magazines. I enjoy model photography- yes I do, that's the reason why I love Germany's next top model- which unfortunately I can't see in Japan, due to Inawashiro I missed the start of it. I never watch shows, but I like this one, because of the shootings and interesting facts about fashion. I love fashion, writing and designing & fashion, costume history are my live, I can't live without, it makes me whole. But what is the point of models here in Japan?
They are so superficial, they are going to concerts because they think the guys are cute, they wanted them as a boyfriend to show him around to make other girls jealous, they are going to the concerts because of the costumes and tons of make-up in a guy's face, models can be the new rockstars if they are from H.Naoto.....
Of course Naoto is a clever guy, he is earning lots of money because of the hype about his models, I would do the same- who won't? Like I said many times to Denise, we two can become superstars here if we got the right promotion and clothes, no point about if we have talent or not. Horrible!
I will never ever understand why the people here are just go by looks and not by talent. And it doesn't matter if the look is fake- nearly everybody in TV, in magazines etc. has done an eye operation to make the eyes bigger, a nose plastic, wearing fake eyelashes and tons of make-up, with teeth bleaching, colored contact lenses, fake nails, fake hair, fake tits or push ups for hips and breasts... it is even worst than it appears to me in USA- we sometimes watch American channels here and many people there, who are doings shows, reading the news, acting in soap operas are looking normal, of course make-up, some push ups, guess some women has a breast plastic as well- I don't know, could be natural or fake. But that is ok, why shouldn't you take the advantages of make-up and clever clothes to look more beautiful, but it is only underlining yourself, you stay yourself and not becoming a fake plastic person like so many people here who are in spotlight.
It is awful like the people here are becoming a manga or anime character, a fake beeing helped by modern beauty surgery. I know in USA it is common to do botox and other stuff, but why not? I don't know if I would do it, but at least most persons used to stay themselves, are real beings and no by man drawn ideal person, who can and will never exist by nature.
What is worth lots of lines in gossip magazines in Europe and USA, if a woman is becoming a created dream creature of a man's beauty fantasy is every day stuff in Japan. The people here are worshipping a human type, which in other countries would be a person, who belonged in hospital to get regenerated. It is ill, they are inventing diet pills- which for sure won't be allowed in Europe because of health damages- for young women, who at height of 157cm or less or bit more have a weight of 45-48kg (a natural weight for a slim person) to get a weight of 35-38kg- a weight for which in Germany every doctor would ring the alarm bell and saying this person is anorexic (magersüchtig). They have creams which burn into your skin to get the hairs out of it, hormon creams to get bigger breasts, eye operations, diet pills adverstiments in almost every women magazine over 10 pages. And not a single word about the damages this stuff can do to your body.
This in a country where most of the people have underweight by nature and still they say it isn't slim enough. Maybe because diets are so popular in the western world. I don't know or maybe they have just in that case an ill mind. From a Japanese band I heard in one of our interviews long time ago, that many labels, managements are putting a weight line towards their musicians, they aren't allowed to get a normal weight, they have to stay at this ill weight size. If you look at Shinya or Die in the early years of Dir en grey, you can see where it end, anorexia, Die had a very nice butt in the beginning ^^- it completly disappeared because he became anorexic. Look at them now, they are all much more handsome and whoever is saying Kaoru is fat will be punished by me if I got a chance to do it. He is quite right, a very handsome man even if in my mind he isn't as beautiful as Toshiya ^^- but that is just personal taste ;)-Denise would say Kaour is more handsome than Toshiya ;). They are looking like men now! Especially Shinya. He is becoming quite handsome, but still much to thin in my opinion.
Yes you can see I can write lots about it, Denise and I often talk about this stuff because it is everywhere, in every magazine, in the papers of the convinis, in the train advertisments and videos, in every drug store.... and you can buy all this stuff without a doctors advise, you can even bleech your teeth yourself- you can pay the chemistry treatment free in every drug store, the same with the hair root burning creams, which definitely destroying your skin too- there had been a talk about it in Germany, Denise had known due to her mother- a nurse, they are forbidden in that strength in Germany, for a good reason. As well as you aren't allowed to buy teeth bleach and a dentist have to do it after talks with you and if he said no, than for a good reason you can't do it for yourself. The same for diet pills and all this stuff.
Sometimes I thought in Germany too many things are forbidden, but now I can truly understand why and I think it is a good thing too.
The same goes for smoking, you can't find any information about the dangers which came from smoking or drugs. The only thing they are doing is that the cigarette machines are locked after 23 o'clock until some time in the morning, because the children shouldn't be tempted to buy them at night. I heard it and were thinking what crazy stuff, I don't think many children are on the road in the middle of the night, so they can't be tempted because they are usually at home sleeping and the other thing is, they will buy the cigarettes in broad daylight if they want to. These machines standing everywhere, in public spaces and in small side roads, where only few people are walking by, so no one will watch.
They didn't have any information and warning about sects either, that's why so many new religions can easily rob the last penny of the pocket of a victim and they are to naive to notice the danger, which comes from some new religions like Soka Gakkai, I would say a Japanese Scientology, very powerful, too powerful, they have a political party in the government, most of the judges are SG, a cooperation with the biggest bank in Japan, strange deaths of all the people who wanted to say something against them in public.... they have banned BBC after they released a documentation about them- a rather negative one.
All German theologian publishers have forbidden them, SG wanted to publish their books in Germany, they didn't know what they were and searched for council from known theologians in USA and Japan, who knew about them like my teacher in Kyoto, and all advised against it and therefore they are forbidden to publish in Germany through all theologian publishers. So they are very dangerous and I am not a person who at the moment would dare to speak openly against them in Japan- guess they won't kill me, but maybe then I lost a chance of staying in Japan, so I am bit of careful, especially because maybe they know my name.
My teacher in Kyoto had been searched by Secret Services and his scripts as well because he is interested in SG and Aum Shinrikyo- the new religion, who is made responsible for the gas attack of Tokyo subways in 1993 or 1992 I don't know- the reason why there aren't waste baskets in Japan. So I guess all the students of him could be recorded by name as well, I don't know but until I have nothing to fear anymore to be thrown out of Japan I remain bit of silent about this. ^^
I didn't know all this stuff myself before I went to Kyoto- had been quite a shock- well that's why religious education is a must be, so the people can be warned about such stuff.
Of course most new religions are harmless, very nice, social societies, which are doing lots of good things to the homeless, people in need and are interested in culture and arts- in short the same stuff the churches in Germany do for the public, but there are some who are not.
And I better stop writing now, because otherwise it will far toooooooooooooooo long to read anymore *laugh* I didn't this expected to write all this- yes it is like Sean Connery said in 'Forrester gefunden', you just starting writing without much thinking and look what will flow out of your fingers on the paper.
Well maybe you enjoy this excursion to Japan, at the moment I am really thoughtful about many things here- guess that's why I have written this.
Love to you.
5x Dir en grey and 5x D'espairs Ray (for Denise 3x) and we have very good numbers for D'espairs Ray as always, well most Dir en grey concerts we didn't have good numbers (but every time got good places on the stairs- so we can see very well), always with Dir en grey- guess it depends on how long you are a member to get the good numbers there, but finally it started, for the 22nd of April I have numbers 50 and 51 for us (I'm now a a knot member for more than one and half year), it's Zepp Tokyo- so it should be 2nd row, maybe 1st if all the guys before us wanted to stand in front of Kyo- we will see. Isn't it wonderful?
Well it will be hot and a harder time than usual, but at last we are in the front of Kaoru and Toshiya *laugh* maybe Kaoru will be happy, he is in no need to try to throw his picks across the whole hall (he is always trying to throw some of them in our directions and always not reaching us and throwing his arms in desperation ^^- very funny.) Guess he is happy to have some foreigner there, who came definitely for the music, dancing to the music and not screaming everybody's names ;) like most of the Japanese. Must be annoying after a while, especially for a guy like Kaoru who said- people got interested in us more than music, we were becoming idols- which isn't right- something like that. It is in the Kerrang from January.
Although most of the Dir en grey fans aren't as bad as the fans of D'espairs Ray, they are screaming, but they seemed to like the music too, so it is always a pleasure to got to Dir en grey in that way. Of course there are still some Miss Piggy Screamy Girlies, but most of the ladies are more punk and usually nice. All my good experiences with other fans had been with Dir en grey fans, they helped me with the wardrobe, after I lost my scarf returned it to me, spoken to me and all. Much nicer than D'espairs Ray and Moi dix Mois fan girlies. Especially the Dir en grey fans of Kyoto and Osaka are VERY friendly guys and much less screaming there. Maybe it is because Dir en grey has started in that area, I don't know, but could be the point and in Kansai there had been no Miss Piggy Screamy Girls at all.
I call them Miss Piggy because they have fake blond curls like Miss Piggy, wearing usually pink, ribboned, ruffled Lolita stuff or flower grandma stuff with pearl necklaces, matching pink heels with big ribbons or over black overknee prostitute style boots (Nuttenstiefel) with pink ribbons, matching glittery and ribboned handbags and make up, many of them had a nose plastic we call 'Piggy Nose' (Schweinchennase) because it looks very much like a pigs snout- it's very popular here, they think it is cute. They have ugly 5cm long, 2cm thick nail glitter scultpures as fake nails are always screaming like they are about to die, every quiet second they are calling some members name and hopping like soft plush dolls you are shaking in your hands during the concert. They are really annoying.
That's one part of people going to the concerts of Japanese bands, a big part unfortunately. With Mana they are usually wearing his fashion and screaming Mana-sama every minute, there are only some Miss Piggys, more traditional Gothic Lolitas. Sometimes I think with Moi dix Mois many girls are coming because of his fashion only-I will never understand why Japanese people are going to someone's live because he his involved to fashion, like the two models of H.Naotos Six and other models of his fashion. They used to be models, than getting a guitar and a microphone and everyone is running towards their concerts because they are the models of H.Naoto.
I will never understand what is so special of wearing someones clothes for advertisements or magazines. I enjoy model photography- yes I do, that's the reason why I love Germany's next top model- which unfortunately I can't see in Japan, due to Inawashiro I missed the start of it. I never watch shows, but I like this one, because of the shootings and interesting facts about fashion. I love fashion, writing and designing & fashion, costume history are my live, I can't live without, it makes me whole. But what is the point of models here in Japan?
They are so superficial, they are going to concerts because they think the guys are cute, they wanted them as a boyfriend to show him around to make other girls jealous, they are going to the concerts because of the costumes and tons of make-up in a guy's face, models can be the new rockstars if they are from H.Naoto.....
Of course Naoto is a clever guy, he is earning lots of money because of the hype about his models, I would do the same- who won't? Like I said many times to Denise, we two can become superstars here if we got the right promotion and clothes, no point about if we have talent or not. Horrible!
I will never ever understand why the people here are just go by looks and not by talent. And it doesn't matter if the look is fake- nearly everybody in TV, in magazines etc. has done an eye operation to make the eyes bigger, a nose plastic, wearing fake eyelashes and tons of make-up, with teeth bleaching, colored contact lenses, fake nails, fake hair, fake tits or push ups for hips and breasts... it is even worst than it appears to me in USA- we sometimes watch American channels here and many people there, who are doings shows, reading the news, acting in soap operas are looking normal, of course make-up, some push ups, guess some women has a breast plastic as well- I don't know, could be natural or fake. But that is ok, why shouldn't you take the advantages of make-up and clever clothes to look more beautiful, but it is only underlining yourself, you stay yourself and not becoming a fake plastic person like so many people here who are in spotlight.
It is awful like the people here are becoming a manga or anime character, a fake beeing helped by modern beauty surgery. I know in USA it is common to do botox and other stuff, but why not? I don't know if I would do it, but at least most persons used to stay themselves, are real beings and no by man drawn ideal person, who can and will never exist by nature.
What is worth lots of lines in gossip magazines in Europe and USA, if a woman is becoming a created dream creature of a man's beauty fantasy is every day stuff in Japan. The people here are worshipping a human type, which in other countries would be a person, who belonged in hospital to get regenerated. It is ill, they are inventing diet pills- which for sure won't be allowed in Europe because of health damages- for young women, who at height of 157cm or less or bit more have a weight of 45-48kg (a natural weight for a slim person) to get a weight of 35-38kg- a weight for which in Germany every doctor would ring the alarm bell and saying this person is anorexic (magersüchtig). They have creams which burn into your skin to get the hairs out of it, hormon creams to get bigger breasts, eye operations, diet pills adverstiments in almost every women magazine over 10 pages. And not a single word about the damages this stuff can do to your body.
This in a country where most of the people have underweight by nature and still they say it isn't slim enough. Maybe because diets are so popular in the western world. I don't know or maybe they have just in that case an ill mind. From a Japanese band I heard in one of our interviews long time ago, that many labels, managements are putting a weight line towards their musicians, they aren't allowed to get a normal weight, they have to stay at this ill weight size. If you look at Shinya or Die in the early years of Dir en grey, you can see where it end, anorexia, Die had a very nice butt in the beginning ^^- it completly disappeared because he became anorexic. Look at them now, they are all much more handsome and whoever is saying Kaoru is fat will be punished by me if I got a chance to do it. He is quite right, a very handsome man even if in my mind he isn't as beautiful as Toshiya ^^- but that is just personal taste ;)-Denise would say Kaour is more handsome than Toshiya ;). They are looking like men now! Especially Shinya. He is becoming quite handsome, but still much to thin in my opinion.
Yes you can see I can write lots about it, Denise and I often talk about this stuff because it is everywhere, in every magazine, in the papers of the convinis, in the train advertisments and videos, in every drug store.... and you can buy all this stuff without a doctors advise, you can even bleech your teeth yourself- you can pay the chemistry treatment free in every drug store, the same with the hair root burning creams, which definitely destroying your skin too- there had been a talk about it in Germany, Denise had known due to her mother- a nurse, they are forbidden in that strength in Germany, for a good reason. As well as you aren't allowed to buy teeth bleach and a dentist have to do it after talks with you and if he said no, than for a good reason you can't do it for yourself. The same for diet pills and all this stuff.
Sometimes I thought in Germany too many things are forbidden, but now I can truly understand why and I think it is a good thing too.
The same goes for smoking, you can't find any information about the dangers which came from smoking or drugs. The only thing they are doing is that the cigarette machines are locked after 23 o'clock until some time in the morning, because the children shouldn't be tempted to buy them at night. I heard it and were thinking what crazy stuff, I don't think many children are on the road in the middle of the night, so they can't be tempted because they are usually at home sleeping and the other thing is, they will buy the cigarettes in broad daylight if they want to. These machines standing everywhere, in public spaces and in small side roads, where only few people are walking by, so no one will watch.
They didn't have any information and warning about sects either, that's why so many new religions can easily rob the last penny of the pocket of a victim and they are to naive to notice the danger, which comes from some new religions like Soka Gakkai, I would say a Japanese Scientology, very powerful, too powerful, they have a political party in the government, most of the judges are SG, a cooperation with the biggest bank in Japan, strange deaths of all the people who wanted to say something against them in public.... they have banned BBC after they released a documentation about them- a rather negative one.
All German theologian publishers have forbidden them, SG wanted to publish their books in Germany, they didn't know what they were and searched for council from known theologians in USA and Japan, who knew about them like my teacher in Kyoto, and all advised against it and therefore they are forbidden to publish in Germany through all theologian publishers. So they are very dangerous and I am not a person who at the moment would dare to speak openly against them in Japan- guess they won't kill me, but maybe then I lost a chance of staying in Japan, so I am bit of careful, especially because maybe they know my name.
My teacher in Kyoto had been searched by Secret Services and his scripts as well because he is interested in SG and Aum Shinrikyo- the new religion, who is made responsible for the gas attack of Tokyo subways in 1993 or 1992 I don't know- the reason why there aren't waste baskets in Japan. So I guess all the students of him could be recorded by name as well, I don't know but until I have nothing to fear anymore to be thrown out of Japan I remain bit of silent about this. ^^
I didn't know all this stuff myself before I went to Kyoto- had been quite a shock- well that's why religious education is a must be, so the people can be warned about such stuff.
Of course most new religions are harmless, very nice, social societies, which are doing lots of good things to the homeless, people in need and are interested in culture and arts- in short the same stuff the churches in Germany do for the public, but there are some who are not.
And I better stop writing now, because otherwise it will far toooooooooooooooo long to read anymore *laugh* I didn't this expected to write all this- yes it is like Sean Connery said in 'Forrester gefunden', you just starting writing without much thinking and look what will flow out of your fingers on the paper.
Well maybe you enjoy this excursion to Japan, at the moment I am really thoughtful about many things here- guess that's why I have written this.
Love to you.
Mittwoch, 8. April 2009
Under the cherry blossoms
Today had been a really nice day. It had been warm like in early summer in Germany, I don't know but I would say about 22°-24° , a wonderful day, the sun had been shining and the cherry trees are in full bloom now- so we went to Yanaka Cemetry again. It is really beautiful there with all the cherry trees now in their prettiest bloom. Today we even saw some insects and birds. A man were playing a soft tune on his wooden flute, a sound that beautifully fits to the cherry blossoms. They are soft pink, baby pink, a bit like the apple blooms in Germany, which of course are more white than soft pink and bigger than the cherries.
We were walking a bit, it isn't so big there as all parks etc in Japan. A man has spoken to us in Japanese, saying that the trees are beautiful and then asking us about where we come from. He had been amazed after we said from Germany, saying the best minds are from Germany, in his opinion the most intelligent people in the world are from Germany, we are the number one in intelligence- we were astonished of course, but well a new point of view. We talked a bit more and then we seperated again.
For a while we sat there on the stones and enjoyed the falling cherry bloom petals which were flowing around us, circling and shimmering in the sunlight, listening to the flutes tune.
Bit later we went away, going to Shinjuku to pay our next months rent to Sakura House- I were looking at Closet Child- they have my Moi même Moitie (Manas label) coat in white, maybe if it is still there later I will buy it in white too. Otherwise I will look if it comes again or new one for myself later.
this one:
I have it in black, only the coat, not the rest he is wearing.
Then I got a surprise, next to Closet Child CD Shop is a new store, which has opened lately and it is my favourite store from Osaka-Shinsaibashi, Puresound- how wonderful to have one of them here too. It is like Closte Child a store which sells Visual CDs, DVDs, magazines & stuff, used and new and they often have some rare stuff there. I love it, during my time in Kyoto I spent lots of money there ^^, I bought all the D'espairs Ray CDs there I hadn't got, the old ones you know like 'Sexual Beast' or 'Kumo' etc. Denise got a Dir en grey withers and withers Tanktop there, very cheap. I am jealous ^^, I had once bought one of them through ebay as a presale item, but unfortunately the seller didn't get one, so neither did I. It is a pity they only had S-Size there.
At the moment they have really great Moi même Moitie stuff at Shinuku Store of Closet Child-I really hope the white one will wait for me ^^. They have more, maybe some day I will fit in all the beauties. Keep your fingers crossed.
Well we seperated for Denise had to go to work and I wanted to go to Harajuku to look for my coat- the insurance has payed us back and the Yen is so wonderful low at the moment I took the risk to buy it. This coat and the one I have bought last time are the two pieces of Manas Label I really, really wanted to have, more than all the rest and as they are old difficult to get and now.... voila there they are and incredibly cheap compared to what they usually cost, new with tags for 25-30% of the original price.
My gain for most of the Japanese wanted to buy the Gothic Lolita dresses and not the other clothes I like, so I am hopeful my white will wait for me. Maybe next week I will get money from my brother- my aunt's heritage, part of, he is selling a depot and I don't know how quickly it will go, he is visiting the bank of Thurday- tomorrow. It is not soo much, but I can afford the white one and save the rest for the coming months.Wish me luck.
This is the coat:
More in my gallery here at Myspace and more cherry blossom pics ^^ as well. www.myspace.com/falling_cherry_blossom
After Closet child Harajuku, where I've forgotten the Puresound bag and had to run back for it- luckily it is still there, I had to go to the underwear store, I was hoping for some new bras in my size- last time they didn't have any, but today I where in luck I found two sets. I need new bras for my old one are far to big- well it isn't the part where a woman wanted to lose weight, but it is ok. Once when I where 16 after my first diet I had a weight of 82kg, I had been rather slim, I don't know why, well Denise said it is because of muscles. Guess I really have much more muscles than other people of my weightclass- otherwise I can't explain it. Well I am 1,72m high and at that weight I should have around size 44-46- well I have that size in shirts now with much more on the scale. Back to the point then I wore size 38 in shirts and 42 in pants and had around 98cm chest- it had grown since that day so I am hopeful it stays around that size again after my diet.
At the moment I wear 85-90F (Japan Size) I bought 90F, before I had 95G (on the last or middle hook of the trim band). As you can imagine 95G isn't so comfortable any more- too big and not fitting and holding the stuff, I am always wobbling and I don't like it if everything wobbles too much. So I am very lucky to found two sets. Well it's acutally the same cut, but one is cream-violet tartan and the other leopard print ^^. Yes leopard print isn't the best but you should have seen the other prints- ruffles with cherrys, black lace (beautiful) but with really ugly magenta trimming, mermaid style ruffles and grandmother style flower-ruffles-lace things with absolutely non matching trimmings on it.
I love tartan styles- soooo wonderful and so rare to get in Germany, more common in Japan for underwear, but unfortunately only for Size 65A-80E, so lets say German up to 80A-B Cup.
And now I have talked a lot about underwear- well yes, I have to admit dessous are more me what shoes are for other women- I can buy it anytime, anywhere and without point of needing. ^^ (and without a boyfriend to see it :( )
Really funny had been that the staff ladies of my store recognized me at once, wonderful, we talked a bit, again the whole day Japanese people had spoken to me because they really loved my tattoos, maybe one had been a Yakuza- he showed me his tattoo, a dragon- so maybe he is a Yak for they often have dragon tattoos. It's only the middle aged borns, the old ones often talk to me about it, the same like the young people, because they found them beautiful, especially the blue roses ^^ and always they have lots to thing about my kanji-kana tattoo on my left wrist ^^.
Yesterday our Dir en grey tickets from eplus for 4th May hadarrived delivered by a handsome guy, a bit like Die from Dir en grey, but bad numbers as always- we have more luck with D'espairs Ray, but maybe we have better numbers for the Zepp Tokyo a knot sales, which should be arrive coming week. And if not- no problem as long as we have tickets ;). Our tickets for D'espairs Ray Kyoto are very good, depending on the size of the stage it might could be first row, we have number 17-18. So if we are quick and lucky we might have front row then.
I really looking forward to Kyoto- I miss my Kyoto and Osaka, and would love to spend the last months there, but it is too expensive for Denise to move, so we still in Tokyo until the end. So next time...
Love.
Samstag, 4. April 2009
my neighbours.... and 10 years
Ok I might get deaf at the moment- listening to 10 years on high volume ^^, my neighbour - not the same room like last time, this time on the right side- they are having very, VERY!!! loud sex at the moment ;). I prefer listening to music than hearing the ecstatic screams and sort of my neighbour ^^- quite understandable I guess.
By the way 10 years is a band I can recommend to many of you. First I have seen and heard them in 2007 as the band which went on tour with Dir en grey in Japan. They are really great, the vocal has a great voice and the players are very good, especially the guitars, and they seem very nice as well.
Maybe some of you knew them already for they had been part of Family Values tour in 2006 with Korn and Dir en grey. Denise loves them too. Unfortunately you can't buy their CDs in German music stores, but you can order them through amazon.de marketplace (first album title is The Autumn Effect).
*laugh* I have showed them to Denise last year, while waiting for my CD I only had the Family Values Tour DVD and showed it to her-
ok- 10 years appeared on stage
Denise- Oh my God what the hell is that for a guy with dreads and-------- long break---- rubber shoes (Gummistiefel)- quite shocked but then the vocalist began to sang and she were saying-
Oh but he is really great.... what an amazing voice- who are they?
This is one their songs:
By the way 10 years is a band I can recommend to many of you. First I have seen and heard them in 2007 as the band which went on tour with Dir en grey in Japan. They are really great, the vocal has a great voice and the players are very good, especially the guitars, and they seem very nice as well.
Maybe some of you knew them already for they had been part of Family Values tour in 2006 with Korn and Dir en grey. Denise loves them too. Unfortunately you can't buy their CDs in German music stores, but you can order them through amazon.de marketplace (first album title is The Autumn Effect).
*laugh* I have showed them to Denise last year, while waiting for my CD I only had the Family Values Tour DVD and showed it to her-
ok- 10 years appeared on stage
Denise- Oh my God what the hell is that for a guy with dreads and-------- long break---- rubber shoes (Gummistiefel)- quite shocked but then the vocalist began to sang and she were saying-
Oh but he is really great.... what an amazing voice- who are they?
This is one their songs:
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