Destinies hand

Now I'm back here for 4 days and after a wonderful day in Hamburg with two of my friends- and of course lots of laughing I started today to clear up the mess in my room my father had left and recognized my father had threwn away some things, which were precious to me before I left, some souvenirs from last summers Scandinavia and London trip, two small empty bottles of cola. Guess some people would wonder why I kept such waste like stuff, it's hard to explain- for me after me and my friend talked the idea came, after I had an empty bottle of this cola sort in my hand baggage after we left the plane from Stockholm. Silly, but for me the bottles were some kind of memorial for a special person. I even looked at Dubai for one bottle, but at Dubai they don't drank this kind of cola and I brought some bottle from Japan to add it to it. A memorial collection it should be. First I had been sad the moment I recognized my father had threwn them away, but now it's strange, it's like it should be, the loss of a dream I dreamt for over one and a half year.

I think it is right, let the dream go, perhaps it will come back to me one day, no one knows what future brings me. But I had learnt that sometimes it's better to let go although it is something you wished to happen more than anything in the world. Not to push, just let it be that's the lecture Japan gave to me. You could have your dearest dream in your heart, but don't let it controll you. Perhaps it will come true one day, but not if you are seeking too much for it's fulfillment. Like my friend Bianca always say, let your wishes be loose, flew away, otherwise they can't become true.
But I could not in my past.
Funny such little thing could bring me such conclusion isn't it? Sad of course in a way.
But I guess this will help me to go further, to leave the life I've had before, a life full of dreams, but dreams, which would have never come true, if I would have stayed in that status of my life and soul.

In a way a part of my life, the part I held most dear before I went to Japan had been broken into shards of broken glass, for a short time my whole life had been shards, but had been fixed again to a stronger being. In a way like I sometimes said I'm like a phoenix, bursting into flames many times in my live, but reborn new and stronger out of my ashes.